Focus On Jill Rizack: Moving from “It’s Mine” to “It’s Ours”

Jill Rizack is a graphic designer who owns Blush Waters, a company that specializes in event invitations in Greenwich. She and her husband have four adult children aged 25, 23, 20 and 18, all of whom have returned home during the Corona Virus crisis. The family has lived in Westport for 18 years. Jill’s business is on hold since her work centers around weddings, engagements, bar mitzvahs, and other group events. 

“I have my four adult children here. They live in four different states and the fact that we are all together–which only happens twice a year now– is my silver lining. It’s an adjustment for all of us. They are used to doing things their own way and I like things my own but every night we are sitting down together, and we are all hanging out at the table talking after we eat and that’s kind of cool. 

I returned to my work as a graphic designer 2 ½ years ago after staying home to raise our children. I started my own company in October and have a studio called Blush Waters in Greenwich on the Avenue.  There was just enough work to pay the bills and I was hoping to grow and give work to other designers as well, but then this happened. My landlord has been amazing he’s lowered rent and said going forward we can address the situation month to month. 

I continue to work at home doing complimentary design for my clients to help them announce change of date or a that new date will be decided. For example, I just got off the phone with a bride who was supposed to get married in Venice in May. I’m advising clients to postpone and I’m trying to support them through that. I also signed up with a firm in California trying to do similar work pro bono. 

I just can’t make money for this kind of work– it’s not right. I don’t want to take from other people. I do what I do because I love what I do. Hopefully, I can just ride it out. I’m very fortunate in what I have and I know there are lot of people who aren’t. I don’t want to take from people who desperately need it.  When I go to the store, I only buy what we need. I just went to grocery store and was lucky that they had toilet paper–I did take two this time to give them to an elderly lady I shop for. 

Basically, I take what we need, but not at expense of others. It isn’t just us in this world. We are getting through by not just looking after ourselves and our family but whomever else we can help because we are all in it together. This affects everyone. I’m hearing that people are doing things like sharing groceries that have run out at the store, sharing supplies with neighbors. I hope that what will come out of this moving forward from this time is that we are coming out of “it’s mine” moving to “it’s ours.” I feel like I have to believe there is a reason for all of this and maybe that’s what the reason is.  

Sometimes I get upset. There are days when I feel bad. But I’ve learned if I don’t admit I feel that way, then it will only get worse. It’s ok to say “I’m having a hard time right now.” We keep thinking about those people who are isolated and don’t have other people in this crisis. We all have to take care of each other and do what we can to help others, but to do that you have to take care of yourself first. It’s like what they say about oxygen masks on airplanes: You have to put on your own mask first to be able to help others on the journey. 

It’s ok to say

“I’m having a hard time right now.”

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On The Lukacs Family: Within Us There is Something Stronger

The Lukacs family (left to right), Michael, Julianna, Char and Evan have lived in Westport off and on for 9 years with time living abroad. Mom, Char, is a trained optician and board member at two local nonprofits: A Better Chance and the Westport Museum.  

“I am not currently working outside our home but with everyone home all day there is plenty to be done around the house! It’s been a great time to try and get our teenagers to pitch in and help…making and serving dinner, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, using the vacuum…all good lessons for soon-to-be adults. My husband, Michael is an international tax lawyer and has been spending long days in his home office on phone and video conferences, trying his best to make time to join us on walks at the beach. 

My day consists of overseeing study at home programs for our teenagers, spring cleaning – closets, garage and basement, virtual board meetings for 2 local non-profits, long walks with our dog (sometimes multiple), running at Sherwood Island, daily phone check-ins and Zoom video calls to “see” friends and family, and lots of cooking. I have been making a pot of soup almost every day. Somehow, homemade soup makes everything a bit better!  

We originally followed news of the novel coronavirus when the breakout began in Wuhan, China. It seemed like any other news report from halfway around the world — something that was newsworthy but wouldn’t impact us directly. I remember my husband telling me about the size of the lock down in Wuhan and how it was comparable to a lockdown the size of the NYC metro area. We both were trying to imagine if that happened here…but we couldn’t even. That was not even two months ago. It’s truly amazing how quickly everything has changed.  

The repetitiveness of life now compared to just a month ago has been the biggest change. We’re trying to find a balance for teens when it comes to social media, Netflix, gaming (all ways they are staying connected to friends, which definitely has it benefits), and also making sure they put the electronics away, are present with the family, and reflect on the current developments. 

We are healthy and trying our best to make the best of this challenging situation. We look forward to the day when we can hug friends, visit our favorite restaurants, attend a workout class or participate in team sports, reunite and embrace extended family, celebrate our daughter’s high school graduation and, mostly, to know that the worst of this pandemic is behind us.  

We are calling and checking in with family and those in the community that may need assistance picking up groceries and supplies. We have volunteered to support the Gillespie center and setting virtual meetings and happy hours with friends and family on Zoom to “see” and support each other. Together we will get through!” 

Regular communication from Selectman Jim Marpe and the town of Westport, as well as the State of CT, have been appreciated. I am heartened by stories of local residents helping neighbors and friends, from setting up a website with links to purchase gift cards for local businesses (onewestport.com) to residents answering the call for help at the Gillespie Center, I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.  

I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.

Our hope is that this experience changes humanity for the better–that within us there is something stronger and we emerge from this experience collectively better than ever before. Our fear is that this pandemic lasts longer, creates lasting damage to the economy and takes more lives than we can imagine right now.  

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On Chris Buckley: There’s A Light at the End of Every Tunnel

Together for 30 years, Chris Buckley, and his husband Mark Ciano moved to Westport in 2013 from Forest Hills, Queens when their children were toddlers and the couple felt the family needed more room. They became familiar with this area after marrying at Fairfield’s Penfield Beach in 2010 and Connecticut was among the few states with legalized gay marriage. The Ciano-Buckleys were photographed on March 27– their twin’s 9th birthday. 

“I normally work from home as does my husband. I work with a technology company that manufactures wireless connectivity solutions. People who know what a MiFi is or perhaps have heard of 5G may have heard of my company. We have seen tremendous demand for our products with the work-from-home initiatives now.  

We’re managing school lessons with the kids –but please don’t judge our educator skills. Much respect to the teachers! Most of our food is brought in online with an occasional trip to Stop and Shop. We’re happy to help anyone that needs us to pick up something from our supermarket trip

We’re getting out to the yard to exercise and allowing the kids a little more screen time than usual.

When they’re off the screens they are doing art projects, playing basketball, running laps around the house and now competing on their new foosball table. 

We’re getting out to the yard to exercise and allowing the kids a little more screen time than usual. When they’re off the screens they are doing art projects, playing basketball, running laps around the house and now competing on their new foosball table. 

I’m impressed with how the town managers are communicating to the community. I think we are all adjusting and fortunate that there are tools like Facebook, FaceTime and Houseparty to keep all of us socially engaged.  

Our greatest hope would be that “the giving by others to others attitude” we are seeing continues well past the crisis. My greatest fear is that this isolation continues for months or more. Working in startups and (I’m on my 5th) there’s always unexpected twists and turns to which I need to adapt—this has prepared me a bit for this situation. Plus, my parents are pretty chill and always showed us that you could get through any tough situation. There is a light at the end of every tunnel. 

Our greatest hope would be that “the giving by others to others attitude” we are seeing continues well past the crisis.

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On: Laura & Dan Nissim

Dan Nissim is a software engineer who works remotely and his wife Laura is a Board Certified Legal Nurse Consultant who works at a law firm in Westchester County but is now working from home as well.  The couple says there hasn’t been a lot of change professionally for either of them but their daily lives have changed in a number of ways: “We have concerns about going out and meeting people and, of course, there is the inability to do the things that we normally do, day-to-day like going to the supermarket, or hair salon and getting dental/medical care.“ 

Dan: Because I work from home full time I depend on going out to the gym and even shopping to get some interaction with people, so not being able to go out and interact is very frustrating. The biggest change is not being able to see our family face to face. That’s the most difficult. On the entertaining side I can finally get a little revenge on my children and not do exactly as they would have me do! 

We hope that there can be a greater world understanding that we are all in this, no matter where we live, what we look like and what language we speak. That this virus is a great equalizer as it doesn’t particularly care whether we are old or young, it strikes all with equal measure. Our fear is that we will be out the other side of this and NOTHING has changed and that the crisis has further polarized us socially and politically. Sadly, with the way the U.S. is now, it’s unlikely to be much different and [the situation] may even be used by others to make things much worse.  

It is particularly frustrating as both of us have elderly parents that need and want support and social media just doesn’t cut it for some things. I have a brother that has end-stage lung cancer and I go to sleep and wake up wondering if I will see him again before he dies. I’m struggling with the wisdom of driving the few hours to see him.

We hope that there can be a greater world understanding that we are all in this…

Laura: I am on social media, trying to speak logically, and sometimes clinically, to folks who are afraid. A friend who had lung surgery has needed support as she is very fearful. Others just really need to laugh. I am in frequent contact with my siblings and my 89 year old mother.  

Some people are alarmists, using social networking to escalate conversations that need clarity and calm. Some friends I know are struggling with the social isolation and fears for the future, which then is impacting their health. I know there are many who are unable to work, to earn a living that they count on while others, like restaurant people, continue to struggle day-to-day, hoping that their place of business can remain open and come out the other side of this to continue on. 

We continue to believe that the people will try to do the right things in this crisis. We are trying as a couple, along with our family, to keep our spirits up–enjoy the sunshiny days and the flowers that are blooming, regardless of the world’s current insanity. Dan would love to help in some concrete way but isn’t finding much that a software engineer can do to help. We want to support the efforts of others and are here if there are people in need that we can help. The state of Connecticut just called on health care people to help relieve some of the active healthcare workforce. It is something I’m thinking hard about. 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus on Jen Tooker: Getting Through & Getting Stronger

Jen Tooker has lived in Westport with her husband Mo since 2008. The couple has three kids: A college freshman, a high school junior and a sixth grader. After a 22-year career in the marketing and underwriting side of the reinsurance business she is now Westport’s Second Selectperson. Jen has been working around the clock as part of the town’s leadership response team to the Corona Virus Crisis. 

“As Westport’s Second Selectwoman, I’m working 24/7 alongside First Selectman, Jim Marpe, to respond to the COVID-19 outbreak. We are working in different locations from each other and from our amazing department heads so we can all stay healthy to lead and support our residents and local businesses through this unprecedented time. The information is moving at record pace. Our responses must be equally rapid. I’ve had some high-pressure jobs in my almost 25-year career in finance, but this experience has redefined pressure. We work every day to ensure the health and safety of our residents and the economic viability of our businesses. It’s a pleasure and an honor, but can be a little tiring! 

When I’m not working, I’m helping my three kids find a schedule with school and life and trying to keep them out of my husband’s home office where he is also working 12 hours a day. We have a very disappointed college freshman who is back home for the school year, an anxious high school junior who can’t figure out how this will affect her future and a restless sixth grader who misses her friends but loves having the attention of her older siblings. I have to admit, I love having the kids home. We have family dinners, family movie night, family game night, family walks and, best of all, family house cleaning day – including toilets!  

I now do everything via email, phone, Zoom, GoToMeeting or FaceTime. While those platforms are all important, especially right now, I got into public service because I love people. I am energized by speaking with, learning from, interacting with and problem-solving for our residents. It’s just not as fun doing this job via technology. I miss seeing everyone in person! And I simply can’t wait to see everyone again soon – when the time is right.  

I’m very proud of Westport. We are focused on stay safe, stay home. If you have to go out, practice virus distancing. Many of our businesses and non-profits (like Westport Museum!) have been forced to close or drastically alter the way they bring their products and services to their clients. This Westport in Focus project is a fantastic example of the creativity of our community. Thank you! It takes a village to “flatten the curve” and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than Westport.

My husband and I were both raised in families that believed in “figuring it out”. Life didn’t always go the way we expected. There was no obvious path and knowing how to rise to the occasion for family and friends was a priority. I’m staying true to these principles. We will get through this together and be stronger for it. I’m sure of that.  

…We will get through this together and be stronger for it. I’m sure of that. 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.