Focus On the Kaplan Family: An Ordinary Family Living Thru an Extraordinary Time.

Amy Kaplan is an artist, an event planner and an elected RTM member. She, her husband and two kids have lived in Westport for 20 years.

My son was supposed to study abroad in Shanghai China, leaving February 8. So we became aware of Corona Virus early, as the virus began to sweep Wuhan and China enacted quarantines. Initially, he was offered a spot in Australia as an alternative, but he decided to take the semester off instead and get a job. After working on Amy Klobuchar’s campaign in Tennessee, he took a job as a campaign consultant for a candidate in North Carolina. That’s when the virus hit Westport. Under the threat of some kind of national shelter in place rule, his new boss sent everyone home to work remotely. He joins my husband working from home for now. My husband’s company manufactures in China, so again, we’ve been watching this unfold with dread since January. At first, he was on the phone with Chinese co-workers expressing our concern for them. Now the shoe is on the other foot.  

At first, [my husband] was on the phone with Chinese co-workers expressing our concern for them. Now the shoe is on the other foot.

My events are canceled or postponed, and my RTM work has been on hold as we try to adapt to a new process of holding public meetings. As an artist, it’s been a bit of a bright spot because with fewer “important” errands and meetings canceled, I have more guilt-free time in my studio. I’m finding I need that time more than ever, just to lose that ever-present anxiety for a time. 

The biggest challenge for me is to keep my high school senior connected to these last few weeks of her Westport Public School career. After a crazy few days, she had finally worked out a schedule that worked for her- sleeping till noon, but then doing all the work required during the afternoon and evening hours, taking breaks on her own time. Then, school sent an email requiring them to all sign in at 8:30 am and work from 8:30-12:15. Apparently the lack of schedule was difficult for some…but I can say with certainty that adhering to this rigid schedule in the midst of this crazy time is not going to go well in this house. 

We are just an ordinary family living thru an extraordinary time. This is a time when I was mentally preparing to be an empty nester, but as it turns out, both our children are here with us, and I’m grateful that we are together. In a way it reminds me of when they were young, with lots of noise and laundry! But it’s also a privilege to be with them as “almost adults”, when we can relate to each other as family members and friends, and share our solutions and work-arounds with each other. Hopefully we’ll share some laughs as well, even in these trying times. Mostly, we are ok. We’ll all get through this in our own way, so don’t be afraid to chart your own way behind your closed front door. But come out and wave sometimes! 

I do love that people are finding virtual and alternative ways to connect and support each other but I’m not so thrilled at the selfishness displayed by hoarding and refusal to social distance properly. I think our town leaders are doing the best they can in a difficult situation, but I wish they had been more forthcoming originally about the level of exposure here in town. To be fair, I’m not sure they got accurate info themselves right away. I just feel people might have taken quarantine more seriously if we understood that it wasn’t just people at the infamous party that were exposed. Those exposed people attended many other events that weekend and into the following week before school closed. There was a concern about people being blamed, but, honestly, I’ve not heard one person online or in real life, express that. Mostly people just wanted info to try to retrace their steps or to understand their own potential for exposure. Many of us live with or love vulnerable high-risk people, and just want to keep them safe. I sincerely hope our town officials are advocating vociferously for us behind the scenes with the state and federal agencies. 

I’m worried we are going to lose a lot of amazing people who still have so much to offer the world. I’m worried that my husband’s business will collapse, that my son will not graduate from college and still have student loans to pay. I’m worried that my daughter will not set off across the country next year, to claim her own future. I’m worried that Trump will seize this to declare elections unsafe or invalid to solidify his power and not leave office. I’m worried companies will find they only need half the staff they previously employed, and that this will not be a pause in the American economy, but the beginning of a free fall. 

I’m spending a lot of time calling, emailing, face-timing and offering to get food or necessities for neighbors. I’ve set up a virtual cocktail hour on Zoom with a friend for our artists group. 

 I’m jumping in on this oral history project to stay connected and to build something from this time that we can look back on. 

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On Quincy Cuthbertson & Family: The College Perspective

Quincy Cuthbert has spent all of her 18 years in Westport, having been born and raised in the town. She is a college student who has come home to Westport after school closed due to Corona Virus. According to her profile at the school, Quincy is a Drexel University student majoring in Civil Engineering and Business with ambitions to design and build roller coasters, for which she has already placed in competitions at well-known theme parks. 

The most striking change in all this is that I now have to live at home and still be a full-time student. It is strange being back in town yet not being able to spend time with my friends, or go out and enjoy everything Westport has to offer.  

Everything happened so fast, and each day a new precaution is introduced but Westport is adapting at a rate I didn’t even think was possible. Even though we are all self-isolating in our houses we are really working together. There is a joke that if you grew up in Westport, you’re used to living in a bubble, this definitely brings new meaning to that.  

My family is incredibly close, and in this moment, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I am thankful we could all be under the same roof, but we still have moments. Sometimes we have to self-isolate from one another, not because of the virus but because we are all fantastic at pushing each other’s buttons.  

My family is incredibly close, and in this moment, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On The Griffiths Family: Facing Challenges Head On

The Griffiths family found their home in Westport 5 years ago, having immigrated to Connecticut from Cape Town, South Africa, 11 years ago. Dad, Warren, is a Global Media Investment President at Publicis Media, a road warrior who spends a lot of his work time traveling globally. His wife Mariet is the Marketing Director at Westport Museum and mom to second grader Sadie and Staples sophomore Sydney.  

“We have faced much adversity, and challenges in our nomadic lives,” says Warren. “and we have always faced them head on. There is no doubt that this is one of the biggest challenges we have ever faced as a family, however we are an extremely positive family, pragmatists at heart, and lean into headwinds. Mariet has been incredible, as she marshals our homelife, home schooling the kids, work and keeping everything on track. The mothers are the real family superheroes during these challenging times! 

All of our direct family are based overseas in South Africa and the UK, and being so far from loved ones can be very scary at times, especially now with all travel restrictions.  

We remind ourselves constantly that we are fortunate to live in a first world country where information, medical support, and leadership structures are strong, to effectively fight these kinds of threats.  

Like everyone we have fully integrated our working and school lives into home school and virtual work. No longer spending time at airports, planes and boardrooms in different corners of the planet, and 100% of the time at home now. Video conferencing and virtual tools have become the new normal. I tend to be putting many more productive hours into my day since I have no commute times, but there is a challenge in that the work-life barrier has become a bit fuzzy.  

A positive side effect is that we are spending so much more wonderful time, video-chatting and reconnecting with friends, family and loved ones across the globe. 

We are spending so much more quality time with the family over (full attendance) meals, long put off chores around the house finally being checked off, evening walks and bike rides around the neighborhood (keeping safe distances) and teaching our 8-year-old how to ride a bike, while our 16-year-old learns to skateboard. 

What I see around us on a town level has been a mix of fear and responsible community actions. There is a definite underlying stress and apprehension around “what happens next?”, and “how bad is it going to get?”, but also a wonderful coming together and comradeship, as neighbors offer to help neighbors, and sharing of information and experiences is everywhere. 

My hope is that this disease will be short lived, and will not negatively impact our community too dramatically, that we learn positive new life skills through these challenges, and that we learn to value time and loved ones more.   

The silver lining in this pandemic is that it has slowed down the manic minute-by-minute nature of modern life, allowing us to appreciate each other more, and take a deep breath. My fear is that the disease continues long enough to leave a deep permanent scar on our lives and community or that someone we know and love might get very ill. 

The silver lining … is that it has slowed down the manic minute-by-minute nature of modern life, allowing us to appreciate each other more, and take a deep breath.

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On Jill Rizack: Moving from “It’s Mine” to “It’s Ours”

Jill Rizack is a graphic designer who owns Blush Waters, a company that specializes in event invitations in Greenwich. She and her husband have four adult children aged 25, 23, 20 and 18, all of whom have returned home during the Corona Virus crisis. The family has lived in Westport for 18 years. Jill’s business is on hold since her work centers around weddings, engagements, bar mitzvahs, and other group events. 

“I have my four adult children here. They live in four different states and the fact that we are all together–which only happens twice a year now– is my silver lining. It’s an adjustment for all of us. They are used to doing things their own way and I like things my own but every night we are sitting down together, and we are all hanging out at the table talking after we eat and that’s kind of cool. 

I returned to my work as a graphic designer 2 ½ years ago after staying home to raise our children. I started my own company in October and have a studio called Blush Waters in Greenwich on the Avenue.  There was just enough work to pay the bills and I was hoping to grow and give work to other designers as well, but then this happened. My landlord has been amazing he’s lowered rent and said going forward we can address the situation month to month. 

I continue to work at home doing complimentary design for my clients to help them announce change of date or a that new date will be decided. For example, I just got off the phone with a bride who was supposed to get married in Venice in May. I’m advising clients to postpone and I’m trying to support them through that. I also signed up with a firm in California trying to do similar work pro bono. 

I just can’t make money for this kind of work– it’s not right. I don’t want to take from other people. I do what I do because I love what I do. Hopefully, I can just ride it out. I’m very fortunate in what I have and I know there are lot of people who aren’t. I don’t want to take from people who desperately need it.  When I go to the store, I only buy what we need. I just went to grocery store and was lucky that they had toilet paper–I did take two this time to give them to an elderly lady I shop for. 

Basically, I take what we need, but not at expense of others. It isn’t just us in this world. We are getting through by not just looking after ourselves and our family but whomever else we can help because we are all in it together. This affects everyone. I’m hearing that people are doing things like sharing groceries that have run out at the store, sharing supplies with neighbors. I hope that what will come out of this moving forward from this time is that we are coming out of “it’s mine” moving to “it’s ours.” I feel like I have to believe there is a reason for all of this and maybe that’s what the reason is.  

Sometimes I get upset. There are days when I feel bad. But I’ve learned if I don’t admit I feel that way, then it will only get worse. It’s ok to say “I’m having a hard time right now.” We keep thinking about those people who are isolated and don’t have other people in this crisis. We all have to take care of each other and do what we can to help others, but to do that you have to take care of yourself first. It’s like what they say about oxygen masks on airplanes: You have to put on your own mask first to be able to help others on the journey. 

It’s ok to say

“I’m having a hard time right now.”

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.

Focus On The Lukacs Family: Within Us There is Something Stronger

The Lukacs family (left to right), Michael, Julianna, Char and Evan have lived in Westport off and on for 9 years with time living abroad. Mom, Char, is a trained optician and board member at two local nonprofits: A Better Chance and the Westport Museum.  

“I am not currently working outside our home but with everyone home all day there is plenty to be done around the house! It’s been a great time to try and get our teenagers to pitch in and help…making and serving dinner, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, using the vacuum…all good lessons for soon-to-be adults. My husband, Michael is an international tax lawyer and has been spending long days in his home office on phone and video conferences, trying his best to make time to join us on walks at the beach. 

My day consists of overseeing study at home programs for our teenagers, spring cleaning – closets, garage and basement, virtual board meetings for 2 local non-profits, long walks with our dog (sometimes multiple), running at Sherwood Island, daily phone check-ins and Zoom video calls to “see” friends and family, and lots of cooking. I have been making a pot of soup almost every day. Somehow, homemade soup makes everything a bit better!  

We originally followed news of the novel coronavirus when the breakout began in Wuhan, China. It seemed like any other news report from halfway around the world — something that was newsworthy but wouldn’t impact us directly. I remember my husband telling me about the size of the lock down in Wuhan and how it was comparable to a lockdown the size of the NYC metro area. We both were trying to imagine if that happened here…but we couldn’t even. That was not even two months ago. It’s truly amazing how quickly everything has changed.  

The repetitiveness of life now compared to just a month ago has been the biggest change. We’re trying to find a balance for teens when it comes to social media, Netflix, gaming (all ways they are staying connected to friends, which definitely has it benefits), and also making sure they put the electronics away, are present with the family, and reflect on the current developments. 

We are healthy and trying our best to make the best of this challenging situation. We look forward to the day when we can hug friends, visit our favorite restaurants, attend a workout class or participate in team sports, reunite and embrace extended family, celebrate our daughter’s high school graduation and, mostly, to know that the worst of this pandemic is behind us.  

We are calling and checking in with family and those in the community that may need assistance picking up groceries and supplies. We have volunteered to support the Gillespie center and setting virtual meetings and happy hours with friends and family on Zoom to “see” and support each other. Together we will get through!” 

Regular communication from Selectman Jim Marpe and the town of Westport, as well as the State of CT, have been appreciated. I am heartened by stories of local residents helping neighbors and friends, from setting up a website with links to purchase gift cards for local businesses (onewestport.com) to residents answering the call for help at the Gillespie Center, I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.  

I find hope in the many acts of generosity, love and kindness in our community.

Our hope is that this experience changes humanity for the better–that within us there is something stronger and we emerge from this experience collectively better than ever before. Our fear is that this pandemic lasts longer, creates lasting damage to the economy and takes more lives than we can imagine right now.  

To read more of the museums long lens oral histories please visit the Westport In Focus page.